I wanna bring you to show and tell
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
