I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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