also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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