ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
