I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
