I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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