Four minutes until I can fart!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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