the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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