I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
