A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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