it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
where does the pee come out of this thing
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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