if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
