I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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