It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
they call him Oral-B. enough said
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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