Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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