i just made my gag reflex go away.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
