just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
