I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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