Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
