WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
