he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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