Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
