Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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