I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Where is the hickey?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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