he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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