I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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