I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
you guys were way drunker than both of me
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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