It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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