I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
