Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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