i barfeds in our rink
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
