Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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