I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
