so explain again why im purple
no
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
