I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Tell her she can't have a vagina
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
