Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
