We're facebook friends in real life
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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