Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
