I could make wine with my vomit
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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