You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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