I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
