yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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