what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
People in love make me want to vomit
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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