Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
