Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
