Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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