she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
