i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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