On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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