Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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