Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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