Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
