this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
