remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
