I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
