I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
