just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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