No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
