I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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