I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize