Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
We smell like vodka and hangover
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