I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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