Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
